


i trust you

by beware_of_you



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Clyde lets Emily steal a jet, Emily's still hopelessly in love with JJ, I controlled myself a bit, appreciate me, but plot reasons, enjoy the free serotonin but not as much gay, it makes me sound accomplished that way, its cute i think, kinda follows the same storyline as JJ's birthday mayhaps, pretty sure that's illegal, some things don't make sense but just go with it, we'll call it a prequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:35:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23886826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beware_of_you/pseuds/beware_of_you
Summary: JJ has a very important question to ask Emily after Michael is born.
Relationships: (but friendship), Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, although emily has a few gay moments
Comments: 3
Kudos: 96





	i trust you

She taps her fingers impatiently against her thigh, her free hand gripping the kneecap of her other leg as an attempt to prevent herself from biting her nails into stubs again (she's been growing them out for nearly a month, and she's too proud of them to ruin all her hard work now, god dammit). She's fighting to keep her legs from bouncing in anticipation, from rushing the quiet, sweet old man that had picked her up in an Uber from the private airport. On the other seat is her a small duffel bag containing a few days worth of clothes and a few necessities. Squished in the middle seat is a small, shimmery blue gift bag, blue tissue paper sticking from the top that looks a bit more put together than herself at the moment.

As soon as she got a text this morning from Penelope Garcia, informing her that JJ had gone into labor, Emily Prentiss had taken _immediate_ action, quickly calling out of for the next few days while simultaneously looking to book the closest _and_ flight from London to DC. She thought Clyde was going to absolutely go _mad_ when she was talking to him, certain that the man would have her head on a post outside his house as a nice lawn decoration should she even step foot outside of the city.

What she _hadn't_ expected was Clyde to not only be okay with her leaving for a few days on such short notice, but to _give_ her the clearance to use one of the Interpol jets. "I think I still owed you one for Doyle. Consider it a little "sorry I got you killed" apology gift," he had told her when she had begun to protest.

"I thought that was why you gave me the team over here to lead. This is an extreme breach in procedure and rules," she had finally argued. "This isn't even an emergency, Clyde."

"I offered you the team. You didn't have to accept the position," he had reminded her. "But I'm insisting on this. Besides, we've known each other for over ten years, Emily, when have I ever been one for the rules or procedure?"

When she went silent, he added knowingly, "I know you. You would have gone to go see her anyway, might as well go in style without any excessive hassle," he had waved her off. "Take a jet and we'll call ourselves even. If someone says anything to you, let me know and I'll take care of it. Just be back by Saturday."

Maybe it was the fact that Clyde Easter still felt some genuine sympathy for the whole situation with Ian Doyle. Or maybe it was the fact that even he knew that when it came to Jennifer Jareau, there would be no talking Emily out of leaving to go to her. Either way, Emily's grateful that her old friend had given her such a privilege (even if it was an extreme one).

She had arrived in the states in less than ten hours (half of it spent getting her things together _and_ in London traffic while the other half was spent on the flight) and with no security claims to go through, she was in an Uber heading for the hospital Garcia had specified in less than twenty minutes. She knows she's probably missed the delivery, but she is antsy to check in on her friend, to ensure that everything went smoothly and to give her congratulations.

It wasn't the Uber driver's fault for all the traffic they had faced to even get into the city. It's not his fault Emily's a bit of a nervous wreck, nerves only rising the longer they sit in the long line. He doesn't try to make any awkward small talk, seems very understanding when Emily politely, yet firmly, refuses a water from the pack on his passenger's seat, and seems to genuinely want to get Emily to where she wants to go rather than drive her around to rack up her bill. Even the radio station he put on in the middle of traffic is soothing and calming.

He's nice, Emily thinks, and she would feel awful if she took out anything out on him or rushed him in any way.

She releases a breath she hadn't even known she had been holding when he pulls up to the entrance of the hospital. Reaching into her back pocket, she pulls out her wallet and an assortment of American bills, carefully pressing the stack in his hand. "Thank you so much," she says genuinely, offering him a kind smile as she exits the back of his car.

His brows furrow as he counts up the money, reaching out to stop her before she heads in. "Ma'am, there must be a misunderstanding. The ride wasn't even worth half as much as you gave me."

"It's okay, keep it," she assures him, cutting off any more of his protests as she enters the double automatic doors of the building.

She's just barely made it; visiting times are over in a little under an hour. With some help of the receptionist, she finds the delivery and nursery section of the hospital quickly, heading up to the floor in an empty elevator.

Her nerves rise steadily as the elevator slowly ascends, as the floor numbers pass by with a barely audible _beep._ She briefly transfers the gift bag over to the hand she's holding her travel bag, wiping her palm slowly on her pants. With a shaky exhale, she runs a hand through her hair to calm herself as she steps out on the floor the elevator stops on.

The ward is silent, making the trained FBI agent feel a bit conscious about the light tapping noise her shoes make on the linoleum. There's a desk with a nurse behind it, but she briefly acknowledges Emily by looking up from the paperwork in front of her. She goes to approach the desk to ask for the room number when she hears a familiar voice softly exclaim, "Well, holy shit."

Turning towards the sound, Emily spots Will in the main waiting room of the ward, holding a styrofoam cup of coffee. "Agent Prentiss," he greets with a polite bob of his head as she heads towards him. "It's certainly a surprise to see you back in town."

"Hi, Will," Emily replies just as politely, briefly switching the bags between hands. "I..." She clears her throat, sighing softly. "Garcias sent me a text about JJ going into labor, so I decided to take a spontaneous trip over here."

"She'll be glad to see you," the man says genuinely, taking a sip from the cup.

It's silent for a few seconds, bordering on awkward. Emily tries her best not to be deliberately with Will, but figures that's just how things work between them: it's _always_ awkward and tense.

Emily thinks he's a decent guy, she really does. He's there for JJ, has been there all the times when she couldn't be. He's a good father to Henry and loves JJ fiercely. The brunette can't hate him, even if she tried. She would even go as far to say that she appreciates him in some capacity. She saved him from that bomb a few years ago without any concerns for her own safety, for christ sake, she must _at least_ like him somewhat.

But sometimes she thinks they can't help but make things awkward. She thinks that he can tell that she loves JJ. Will's not an idiot— he knows Emily best friend has been in love with JJ for a long time. But, despite how much it hurts to admit to herself, Emily's long accepted that JJ loves Will, that she chose a life with him and that he makes her happy. She's big enough to acknowledge it, to accept that she and JJ will never be more than a fantasy.

Emily figures there's always going to be a part of Will that resents her for loving JJ, even if it's not something she can control.

She wishes she could.

She does keep it hidden around him, even did at work around JJ for the short time she was back after faking her death. But she does understand how hard it must be for him to know, and never does hold any ill intent for the man if he ever shows her any form of anger or distain.

"Hey, congratulations," she finally tells him, offering her hand out towards him. "How is everyone doing?"

"Thank you, Agent. That's much appreciated," he thanks her with a firm hand shake. "The baby's doing great— he was still sleeping in the bassinet before I came out here for some coffee. Weighed in at just under six pounds, but the doctors said it was normal and everything else is fine. He's just a bit tiny." He pauses before he adds, "He looks exactly like her, it's crazy."

"Well that's good, I'm glad," Emily exhales softly, feeling a bit of relief that things were okay with the newborn. "JJ?" she asks cautiously.

He runs a hand through his hair, shrugging slightly. He doesn't seem bothered by her asking, which she finds a bit odd, but doesn't think too much on it. "She's tired," he says, stuffing his free hand in his pocket. "She was in labor for almost thirteen hours, didn't have any epidural until about four hours before he was born."

Emily visibly winces at this, grimacing lightly.

"She's okay now," Will assures her with a slight smile. "She's been out for about as long as he has."

"Good, she deserves it," Emily murmurs with a nod. "I won't be a bother, than," she continues, stepping back slightly. "I'll let you spend some time with them and I'll come back in the morning when she's awake."

Will shakes his head, nodding down the hall. "It's okay, you can go see them. I wasn't planning on staying the night, anyway. I was just coming out to call Sandy to let her know I was coming to pick up Henry to take him to my place— she's got a doctor's appointment early in the morning."

Emily pauses, raising an eyebrow at the singular possessive pronoun, doing a once over at the man. It's only when she does this that she notices the absence of a wedding ring on his finger.

He seems to notice and gives her a light, friendly smile. "It'll be good for her to see you," he says genuinely. "I'm insisting."

Emily closes her mouth to stop any further questions. She simply nods, allowing Will to lead the way back to JJ's room. She stays in the doorway as he goes over, placing a light kiss on the top of the sleeping infant's head before lightly giving the sleeping blonde's shoulder a squeeze.

He turns to Emily, rubbing the back of his neck slowly, "He might be up here in a couple of minutes— he's due for a feeding here soon. She'll wake up when he does. It must be a mother thing." He gestures towards the couch on the wall down by the foot of the hospital bed. "That folds out into a bed. Henry said it's pretty comfortable, but that boy could sleep just about anywhere."

"I'll take his word for it," Emily murmurs, finally setting the bags she was carrying down on a chair. "Will, are you sure about this? I can go and watch Henry for the night and you can stay here," she offers politely.

He shakes his head once more, smiling softly. "She'd want you here more than me. Besides, I know they'll be in good hands with you here," he says honestly with a nod. He sticks out his hand for her. "Good seeing you again, Agent."

Emily's silent for a moment as she firmly shakes his hand. "You take good care of yourself, Will," she finally murmurs. "Drive safe and have a good night."

"You do the same, Emily," he says, turning and walking out of the room and down the hall.

Emily slowly rubs her hands together with a frown, trying to process the whole encounter with the former detective. "That was weird," she murmurs to herself, looking around at the balloons and assortment of stuffed animals set up on the windowsill (no doubt from Garcia).

She exhales slowly, shaking her head and turning on the cold water in the room's sink to clear her thoughts. She rubs the soap thoroughly between her hands and fingers, drying them off just as slowly. She doesn't think she's ever had a conversation that civil with Will since she first met him on that case in New Orleans. He's never been so... nice to her, so accepting of her (she knows that his attitude towards her was only because of her feelings towards JJ).

But the conversation she just had with him, he almost seemed... okay with her, as if he no longer held any ill feelings towards her and her feelings.

It was odd.

"Very weird," she murmurs out loud, throwing away the paper towel she used to dry off before she shakes her head, heading over towards JJ and the baby. She slowly and quietly moves the chair further down the side of the bed so that the blonde could reach the baby should she need to.

JJ looks peaceful, all things considered. She has an arm propped underneath the pillow the hospital provided, turned on her side facing the door, blonde locks splayed out all over the pillow wildly. If Emily listens closely, she can hear the tiny snores that slip from the blonde every so often. She cracks a small smile at the sight, wringing her hands together instead of reaching out and grabbing JJ's hand.

She breathes out slowly, perking up slightly and looking over when she hears a light grunt come from the bassinet. "Well, I'll be damned, look at you," she coos softly to the now awake infant. "Your dad was right— you are just a little carbon copy of your momma, huh?"

The baby stirs, kicking around his legs underneath the blanket. His tiny eyebrows furrow at the sound of her voice, humming around the pacifier in his mouth.

"I know, my voice is new and a bit funny," she murmurs gently. "It's okay."

"It's not _that_ funny."

Emily grins at this, peering over at JJ, who's looking over at them both with a soft smile. "Tell that to the agents in London. They think it's _hilarious_ that I still sound so American. Mother always said I was terrible at picking up any regional accents."

"You've been in London for over a year now. That's not enough time to pick up an accent?" JJ teases lightly as she sits up in bed. She reaches over and lays her hand on Emily's wrist. "I didn't know you were coming."

"Are you kidding? I didn't miss Henry, so I couldn't miss this little guy," the brunette says softly, glancing over at the infant again. "It's Michael, right?"

"You remembered," the blonde says in a pleased tone. Months ago, she and Emily had been on a FaceTime call for _hours,_ half of the time spent with the blonde thinking over baby names.

"Spencer's not the only one with a great memory," Emily smirks, finally bold enough to envelope JJ's hand with hers. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore," JJ admits with a lopsided grin. She sits up in the bed, pushing on a button to prop the head of the bed upright. "But I've been through worse. He was worth it."

"He's beautiful, Jay. Congratulations," the brunette murmurs, giving the younger woman's hand a squeeze. She turns when Michael starts to squirm around more, smiling widening, "Uh oh, now he's really awake. He heard momma."

"He's hungry," JJ murmurs, moving herself in a more seated position. "You can stay," she adds softly when Emily turns to get up. The older agent relaxes slightly, but turns her head off to the side, focusing on the TV in the corner.

JJ unbuttons the gown before reaching over and taking the fussing infant. She carefully takes out his pacifier, grimacing slightly when he latches on.

"You okay?" Emily asks without looking over.

"Yeah, it's just not the most pleasant feeling in the world," JJ says with a light chuckle, holding Michael to her chest and resting back against the pillows. "At least he's not a biter. Henry would latch on like I would run away." She shifts back against the mattress. "Where's Will?"

"He went to go pick up Henry from your mom, said she had a doctor's appointment tomorrow," Emily replies. She pauses briefly. "Is everything okay with you guys? You're both not wearing your wedding rings and it sounded as if he had moved out." Another pause. "Come to think of it, you haven't talked about him over the phone or on video call in a long time."

"We split up seven months ago," JJ murmurs with a gentle shrug.

Emily turns to her in surprise, expression sympathetic. Her mouth opens and closes as she wracks her brain for the right words. "JJ, I'm so sorry," she finally says genuinely, giving the blonde's hand a comforting squeeze. "What happened?"

The blonde simply smiles and shakes her head. "Em, it's fine," she assures the older woman firmly. "I promise, it was mutual. We were always fighting, talking, therapy and counseling weren't helping and it was starting to really affect Henry," she explains. "It happens."

"Still..."

"We wanted to end it before we ended up hating each other," JJ interrupts softly. "We still care about each other, we just... fell out of love."

Emily searches her friend's face for any underlying sadness in her expression, in her voice, anything that would give it away that JJ was upset. When she finds nothing, she relaxes. "How's Henry been dealing with things?"

JJ hums, releasing Emily's hand to rub gentle circles on Michael's back as he suckles. "Better than I think either of us expected him to. He wasn't too upset when we told him that we were splitting up. He understood and he's adjusted well to living between the two of us. I think he was just glad we weren't yelling at each other anymore."

"I'm glad to hear he's doing okay, all things considered," Emily murmurs genuinely, reaching over and grabbing a spare, thin blanket from a shelf underneath the bassinet and handing it over to the younger woman.

Murmuring her thanks, JJ kisses the top of her son's head before gently burping him, rubbing his back soothingly. "You and me both. Believe me, it made everything a lot easier for everyone involved."

"How has it been for you?"

Adjusting her son once more, the blonde shoots her friend a genuine smile. "Oh, I'm fine. Really, I just... It feels freeing, in a way, I suppose. We had issues ever since I came home from over seas but I always felt this constant need to keep up appearances with him, you know? Be the picture perfect family everyone saw us as." She briefly turns her face towards Michael, pressing another kiss to his head, going silent for a few minutes.

"It stressed me out," she finally admits. "It just became too much to keep that image everyone had of us along with work and my trauma-versary coming up, I just couldn't do it anymore. I just... stopped trying." She pauses again, sighing softly. "For a while, I had wish I just pushed a little harder for him. He tried so hard for so long and I just stood by and watched as he finally gave up. I felt so horrible for doing that to him..."

Emily rests a strong, assuring hand on JJ's shoulder. "You can't help that what you went through and how it changed you, JJ. You were both at your limit and did something about it before it destroyed you completely. Will understood that. He still really respects you."

Cracking another smile and carefully burping the infant once more before swaddling him in a clean blanket, JJ says, "I know. Sorry, I haven't really talked about it that deeply with anyone before. I think I needed to get it out."

"No need," Emily simply replies, giving the blonde's bicep another strong squeeze.

"Do you want to hold him?" the younger woman suddenly asks, carefully buttoning her gown back up. At Emily's startled jump, JJ smirks lightly. "You flew over two thousand miles and suffered Friday night DC traffic for this little guy and you're not going to hold him?"

Emily still looks a bit unsure, so JJ eases up with a softer smile, "You don't have to if you don't want to, I'm just picking on you."

Releasing a breathy chuckle, the brunette agent shakes her head. "No, no, I know... It's not that I don't want to, it's just..." She pauses, swallowing audibly. She resists the urge to pick at the skin on the sides of her fingernails. "He's so little..."

Michael's easily the smallest baby she's seen, and she's seen her fair share of tiny infants and toddlers. There's a part of her, her insecurities bubbling up to the surface, she supposes, that fears she'll hurt him even if she doesn't mean to. He looks so much more fragile and _definitely_ tinier than she ever remembers Henry looking.

Reaching over and giving her hand a squeeze, JJ ducks her head to meet her friend's eyes. "Hey, I wouldn't have asked if I didn't trust you. You'll both be okay, I promise."

With one look into those icy blue eyes, Emily knows she's a goner, can never resist the charm of this woman beside her. With slightly dazed expression that she snaps out of almost instantly, the older agent nods. "Okay."

JJ carefully hands Michael off to Emily, the brunette automatically adjusting her hold so that she's supporting the infant in her arms properly. The blonde smiles proudly, carefully retracting her hands as she watches the scene in front of her. "See? Look at you, you're a natural."

"Says you," Emily retorts childishly, but a smile is on her face as she gently coos at the infant in her arms. Michael immediately relaxes in her hold, suckling firmly on the pacifier JJ had placed in his mouth. He hums, his tiny legs kicking out in his blanket a bit before he settles. He makes a grab for Emily's finger, holding on tightly and cooing.

"He likes you,"JJ murmurs as she lays back on the bed, laying slightly on her side without looking away from the pair. "He likes your voice."

"You think so?" Emily asks, briefly glancing up at her friend before turning back to the infant. "I say he still thinks it's funny."

"Or that," the blonde teases, smiling innocently at the playful glare the older agent shoots her. "Hey, I got something to ask you," she continues, now more serious.

"Uh-oh," Emily murmurs down to Michael. "I'm in trouble," she says lightly.

"Will and I were talking..."

"Double uh-oh."

"About you..."

Inhaling sharply, the brunette clicks her tongue, smiling wide when Michael smiles at the noise. "Triple whammy here, buddy. You're Auntie Emily's in some deep trouble now." Looking up and over at JJ, she tilts her head to the side, looking confused. "What's wrong?"

Smiling and chucking slightly at her former co-worker's antics, JJ shakes her head. "It's nothing bad, I promise. It's um..." She clears her throat, looking over at Emily with a warm smile. "We asked Rossi to be Michael's godfather and we... discussed asking you to be his godmother."

The brunette's jaw actually drops in shock at the offer. She's unsure of what to say, how to feel about it. She feels warmth in the pit of her stomach, tears coming to her eyes as she whispers out emotionally, "JJ..."

"You're important in my life and I want you to be important in his. Garcia and Spence are Henry's godparents, but we wanted a different set for Michael... so who better than the two other people I've really come to rely on over the years..." the younger agent continues softly. "And this isn't some... plan to get you to stay, I know that you have your priorities overseas but... I know that you always come back. You've always dropped everything for the team here, and for me, especially. I know that you would do it for my kids, too. This would just be... more official, in a way. If anything were to happen to me or Will, I know that you and Rossi will be there to take care of him."

Emily stares down at Michael, who's gently tugging her finger around while cooing through a teary gaze. It's an incredible offer to come from anyone asking her to be such an important figure in a child's life, more so that it's coming from JJ.

She figures she has that type role in Declan's life, but not as directly . Being that little boy's protector, keeping tabs on him as he grew up and feeling a sense of pride at each of his milestones, ensuring that he was safe was the most rewarding process she thinks she's ever been through.

To be asked to be someone that important in Michael's life by JJ. makes Emily feel so incredibly honored and emotional.

Indescribable.

"You're going to make me cry on the baby," she croaks out, smiling as they both break out in quiet laughter at her lame joke. She shrugs her shoulder up carefully, dabbing her eyes on the jacket she has on.

"So... is that a yes?" JJ asks knowingly, smiling warmly over at the brunette.

Looking down at Michael with another light laugh, Emily sniffles. "Yeah, it's a yes."


End file.
